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If you would like to volunteer that day, or donate food supplies, please email nicolel@saddleback.com


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No Crave for Two Weeks!
Dec. 24th & Dec. 31st.

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Don't forget though, we have Redefine Time (New Year's Eve Party) on Thursday, December 31st!
9pm-1am
$5 at Refinery Door
Dancing & Fun


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Posted by Nicci

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Becoming More Self-Aware: Part II

Self-awareness is a journey few embark on because the realizations are often just too hard to swallow.  Seeing yourself more clearly can feel like coming out of a nice cozy slumber only to face a glaring light pointed directly at your eyes.  Although uncomfortable, self-awareness is a vital step in moving toward greater health and wholeness.  Perhaps it’s realizing how some event in your past is still affecting you in the present.  Maybe it’s understanding for the first time why you get so angry during routine conflict with those closest to you.  Proverbs 4:7 states, “Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”  Sometimes the price we pay to get in touch with what’s really going on inside is high.  But whether it’s time, money, emotional pain, or relational drama it’s always worth the price.

 

When we pay the price to gain understanding about ourselves we are no longer fighting or being influenced by invisible factors.  We finally see why we react the way we do and relate to others in the same old pattern.  We finally see what’s behind that deep sense of insecurity when we’re put in the spot light or asked to lead in some capacity.  Sometimes the understanding comes quickly and seems obvious.  Take for example a young man who was physically and verbally assaulted by his father growing up.  He may think about the abuse he faced every day and be able to clearly see how his childhood has hindered his ability to bond now with the young woman he’s dating.  He may smother his girlfriend, seeking the approval and validation from her that he never received as a young child.  And then in a flash, his anger may push her away if he can’t meet her expectations.  Her normal concerns pound like a hammer on the exposed nerve of his ‘father wound.’  Even those with low levels of self-understanding can make the connection here.  Perhaps the more difficult task is for those who grew up in seemingly healthy homes. 

 

In “healthy homes,” the motto is that nothing is wrong and there aren’t any issues worth discussing or calling much attention to.  Below this veneer of having it all together lies the more subtle wounds inflicted by parents on their children.  Because some families and parents never openly talked about their mistakes or broken areas, wounds have been buried for years.  It usually takes some traumatic event in the life of these now-adult children to expose their childhood wounds.  Some people in their thirties and forties have never looked at their childhood through adult eyes.  They’ve never taken a close look at their own childhood journey because they assumed little if any insight would be gained.  Herein lies the great danger.  We all grew up in broken homes but only some of us realize it.  We all grew up amidst varying levels of dysfunction but hardly ever come to face that reality.  Our well-meaning parents failed us.  They weren’t perfect.   No matter how nice and neat our upbringing may appear on the surface, there are insights to be gained for those brave enough to explore them.

 

Take for example the daughter who grew up with a well meaning mother who protected her from anything risky or remotely uncomfortable.  On the surface it appears she has the most attentive and loving mom on the planet.  Although doing her best, Mom is actually crippling her daughter and pre-programming her to experience high levels of fear, apprehension, and anxiety later in life.  Or what about the son who grew up with a well-meaning dad who thought he was doing his due diligence by showing up at all the sporting events?  What dad failed to do was connect with his son emotionally and check in on the true heart condition of his boy.  On the surface Dad looks like the present and involved father we all long for.  But his son grew up not knowing what emotional connection is all about.  In fact, he may actually have an aversion to intimacy and be unable to process other peoples’ strong feelings.  Both son and daughter in these scenarios may never examine their family origins because on the surface they appear solid.  Again, herein lies the problem; the lack of self-awareness and understanding about how the past is affecting the present...and the future if realization doesn’t come. 

 

Looking back at our early years can be tough.  We do it not so we can blame our issues on mom and dad or justify our mistakes by playing the victim card.  We do it so we can understand ourselves and help those we love understand why at times we digress into rather childish ways of relating.  We do it so we can learn to walk on new pathways that lead toward intimacy and a more healthy holistic way of relating.  When understanding comes we usually have more compassion on ourselves.  When we explain our insights to those around us they too will have more compassion.  The level of anger and annoyance will diminishes as we realize we are all in the process of recovering from something.

 

Things you can do to increase your self-awareness:

            Learn to put your feelings into words

            Honestly evaluate the realities of your childhood

            Examine the areas of pain in your life

            Ask yourself why you’re vulnerable to certain sins 

            Pray Psalm 139:23-24 every day

            Go see a Christian counselor

            Read “How We Love” by Milan and Kay Yurkovich



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Posted by Nicci

Crave's most anticipated trip of the year is just two months away!

 

Our annual discipleship retreat, Grow 2010 “Detox for the Soul,” is four days of friends, God, snow, worship, mountains, prayer, snowboarding, games, and awesomeness!

 

We leave Thursday night, February 11th after Crave for the sparkling snow-topped mountains of Brian Head, Utah.  (www.brianhead.com).  We return Monday evening on February 15th.

 

Sign-ups start this Thursday at Crave!  Bring a $100 non-refundable deposit to secure your spot! 

 

Early-bird price is $360 if you pay in full by Thursday, January 7.

Regular price is $385 if not paid in full by January 7.

We know finances are tight, so we are stoked that we’re able to offer this year’s trip at the same price as last year!

(Price includes bus transportation, retreat materials, and meals.  Does not include lift tickets/gear rentals.)

 

See Lisa at the info booth after Crave on Thursday or e-mail Lisab@saddleback.com if you have any questions.



Posted by Nicci

Baptisms this Thursday, December 10!!

 

Cravers, don’t forget that we are having baptisms this Thursday after Crave!

 

We’ll be baptizing right outside the Refinery.  E-mail Lisab@saddleback.com if you have any questions, or just show up!  We provide everything you’ll need—towel, shorts, shirt, and plenty of friends to celebrate!

 

So, why do we even do baptisms?  Why should you be baptized?

 

--To follow Christ’s example—“At that time Jesus came from Nazareth and was baptized by John in the river.”  Mark 1:9.

 

--Because Christ commanded it—“Jesus said, ‘Go then to all people everywhere and make them my disciples, baptize them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, and then teach them to obey everything I have commanded you…’”  Matthew 28: 19-20.

 

--Because it shows you are a believer—“…many of the Corinthians who heard him believed and were baptized.”  Acts 18:8.

 

--Because obeying Christ’s command shows you know Him—“We know that we have come to know Him, if we obey His commands.”  1 John 2:3

 

Every person who has made the decision to believe in Christ should be baptized!  It is a symbol of Christ’s burial and resurrection and a symbol of your new life as a Christian. 

 

“Those who believed and accepted His message were baptized.”  Acts 2:41

 



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Becoming more self-aware is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself and those you love.  One of the simplest ways to increase your self-awareness is by learning to put your emotions to words.  I feel ___________ (insert word here).  You can’t use good, fine or ok.  Those words don’t communicate much of anything.  Pick a word with some color (aggravated, peaceful, enraged, panicked or alone) and explain to the best of your ability why you feel that way.  To most ladies, this comes as naturally as talking.  But most guys need help here.  Our culture has told us that men aren’t as emotional as women, but that’s simply not the case.  Men are just a little behind the curve on expressing them.

 

Our emotions are often the gateway to understanding why we do what we do.  They can lead us down a trail that reveals what our thoughts and behaviors are rooted in.  For example, a person who grew up in a home where they were neglected at some level may actually fear intimacy and true connection with others.  It’s unfamiliar and scary to them.  As a result, they develop friendships and dating relationships right up to the point where they are challenged to open up.  At that moment, the relationships abruptly end.  If this person never examines this and asks why, they may be trapped in this unhealthy pattern for many years. 

 

Close relationships are the greatest context for revealing the things in us that God wants to address.  When dysfunction in a relationship emerges, we should always ask, “What’s this rooted in?”  The same question should be asked about the destructive habits we have.  Nasty habits are the symptom, not the root of the real problem.  It’s up to us, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to discover what those habits are rooted in and fueled by.  A sinful habit is often just our way of coping with some unhealed wound from our past. 

 

Far too many of us think or say “That’s just the way I am.”  Not so!  There is always a reason why.  Becoming more self-aware can be a very difficult process.  It may force you to re-visit the pain of your past or face the harsh realities of your childhood for the very first time.  As tough as that can be, the alternative is far worse.  Living your life oblivious to the true condition of your own heart is not living at all.  Those who lack high levels of self-awareness push their relationships out onto thin ice.   Those who lack high levels of self-awareness will find themselves stuck in the same destructive habits year after year.  The time to ask “why” is now.  Self-awareness, anyone?   

 

Things you can do to increase your self-awareness:

         Learn to put your feelings into words

         Honestly evaluate the realities of your childhood

         Examine the areas of pain in your life

         Ask yourself why you’re vulnerable to certain sins 

         Pray Psalm 139:22-26 every day

         Go see a Christian counselor

         Read “How We Love” by Milan and Kay Yurkovich



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Posted by Nicci

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**$20 suggested donation to buy supplies**


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Come join us in the Refinery on World AIDS Day to support the HIV/AIDS Initiative and find our what you can do to make a difference.


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About Crave
Every week, college-age young adults from all over Orange County come together to explore questions and search for something bigger than themselves...something that's beyond their busy worlds of homework, stress, work and ideas of success. From our weekly worship experience to trips that take you halfway around the world, we are a community of passionate young adults that journeys through life together. Whether you hate church, have never been to church, or grew up in Sunday school, just...come as you are to Crave!

Crave is a welcoming place for you to connect with others and seek answers to life's most compelling questions.

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Thursdays:
7:15 p.m.

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The Refinery

1 Saddleback Parkway
Lake Forest, CA 92630
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(949) 609-8630

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